On Adversity

When it comes to overcoming adversity there are any number of quotes and cliches.

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." Napoleon Hill

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." John Quincy Adams

"The block of granite, which was an obstacle in the path of the weak, becomes a stepping stone in the path of the strong." Thomas Carlyle

"Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." Charles Dickens

As trite as they may seem statements such as these are the absolute truth. In my humble opinion it is a tired spirit that dismisses them and casts them aside. I say that having been that tired spirit on many occasions myself. I firmly believe that happiness is a choice, a very hard choice at that. It is so easy to fall into despair when things aren't going the way you anticipated.

Some would call this weakness, I disagree it is simply human nature. For some unknown reason our culture, under the guise of protecting us, has taught us from a very young age to fear failure. Failing in our society is considered shameful and something to be avoided at all cost. It has become so prevalent that we now reward participation so as not to attach the stigma of failure on our children.

This is entirely the WRONG mindset. Failure is simply a form of adversity to learn from and overcome. Success is a terrible teacher, so the quicker you fail the better off you will be. Provided of course that you learn from these failures. I've been starting businesses since high school with varying degrees of success. Every failure though has brought with it valuable lessons for the next venture.

If it weren't for these trials and adversities I would have repeated the same mistakes. More importantly I have never given up. Some would say this is due to being a masochist, others that I feed on rejection, and a few that its due to my undying optimism. While I do have my moments for the most part I concur with the later. Though lately I've felt like a kicked dog.

Regardless of this I get up every morning determined to move the ball forward. My little start-up firm Stigmare has some great projects in the pipeline. The kind of projects that can really take us to that next level. If it wasn't for the adversities faced prior to this point, and the knowledge gained from them would these opportunities have presented themselves? Who's to say?

All I can say is that I am personally very grateful for them. I am grateful for my Creative Director whose dedication and hard work secured these opportunities. I'm grateful that instead of going home or to the bar after a hard day last December I went to a networking event where I met my current Creative Director. I'm grateful for meeting my friend Rachel at the Columbia Tower Club about three months prior who invited me to that networking event.

I could have very easily made different decisions that would have dramatically changed where I am today. Its been a struggle, but most things of value are. There have been a lot of times where I questioned if I was on the correct path. Through it all I continue to persist, so I say to you persist. Don't give in to your fears, I pray you.

On Intensity

Anyone that knows me personally knows that I am a very intense individual. This intensity of purpose and drive is extremely valuable in a business environment especially being a start-up. I set very aggressive goals for myself personally and professionally. One of my favorite quotes is, "Aim for the moon at the very least you will land among the stars."

While in business this level of intensity is very much a prerequisite in social and personal circles it can be easily misunderstood. I know this from many years of personal experience. One of my greatest weaknesses is my ability to, "Turn it off," and just let things be. I've been reminded on several occasions recently on why this level of intensity is not constructive in interpersonal relationships. Over the years I can't count how many friendships and relationships have been strained because of it. Not the least of which is that with my immediate family.

Last year I was so focused on saving my faltering business that I fore goed attending Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities. I rationalized this by telling myself that I needed to work harder than anyone else to show my dedication to my clients. Needless to say many family members were not very happy at my decision. The scary part is that I didn't learn from that and am contemplating the very same decision this year. I'm a little hard headed that way.

What's worse is when it comes to the fairer sex. I do not fall often, and I honestly don't go out looking for relationships. When I do fall however it is very hard and very fast. Couple that with my inability to censor myself on most occasions and it can be very intimidating for most young ladies. Again, I recognize the behavior but for some reason unbeknownst to me I cannot seem to temper it. This is very disconcerting for someone who preaches the belief that everything in life is a choice.

Being goal driven is not a bad thing when it comes to business or personal growth. However it should have no place in the courting process. A relationship is not a goal to be achieved, it is a delicate rose to be cultivated and nurtured very gently. Logically I understand this and pray that I can find the strength of will to implement the changes within myself to achieve this level of tranquility. Until then I hope to find a strong woman with a great deal of patience to tolerate me while I work through this. I haven't found her yet, but I pray that she's out there somewhere.

Hold On To Your Vision

In this post I'm going to expound on both the benefits and the necessity of having a clearly defined vision. This should be nothing new as I generally prologue most of my entries with such an example. I feel that as we are slowly starting to see the signs of economic recovery it is important for us to take the lessons learned and apply them moving forward.

As I look back over the last year there have been a lot of ups and downs personally and professionally. The thing that has kept me pushing forward and prevented me from loosing all hope has been my vision. My vision for Stigmare, my vision for Emerald City Fashion Week, and my vision for the philanthropy I want to perform. It is easy when times are tough to fall into a victim mentality and blame everything around you for your failures and short comings. This is a choice and it is one that I refuse to make.

This time last year I was enjoying cocktails at the Columbia Tower Club, serving on the clubs Tower 39 Board, Membership Committee and Business Forum Committee. I still had my dream car, a black on black SLK 320, and a nice house in the Newcastle area south of Bellevue. Today I ride Metro because I could no longer afford my car. I have a small two bedroom apartment in the Fairwood area of Renton, and I've had to leave the Tower Club. I don't say this to brag or seek sympathy but to illustrate that we are not the sum of our circumstances.

While I have been humbled and have a greater appreciation for the small blessings in my life I am still essentially the same man. I have achieved success once I will achieve it again, because I have a clear vision of what that success is to me. It is not soully financial, all though without finances the other aspects of what I consider to be success are next to impossible. I've always believed money to be a tool, as impartial as a hammer or an automobile. It is the intent of the user that determines the justness of its use.

What is this vision that drives me, and allows me to be the duck on the pond gracefully gliding across the water's surface all the while paddling like a mad man underneath. Well you are all aware of my vision for Stigmare if you have ready any of my recent posts. While I talk a great deal about Emerald City Fashion Week on Twitter I have not shared my full vision with you. Nor have I really gone into the full scope of what I wish to accomplish philanthropically either. Well I shall rectify both of those now as I firmly believe that until you put it out into the universe it will never happen. A lesson learned from, "Think and Grow Rich" and other books on success principles.

Twenty years from now I envision Emerald City Fashion Week to be an epicenter for the Northwest and Pacific Rim fashion industry with designers, manufacturers, industry experts and suppliers from around the world converging on Seattle. Designers will be offered continuing education opportunities and trend forecasting enabling them to better apply their craft. Design houses will flourish in SODO and the Georgetown area. Suppliers will have set up distributors in the area and will showcase the latest materials. On and off shore manufacturers will compete for the mass production of goods for distribution to major retailers. The city will come together for a grand spectacle celebrating the art and function of fashion of all kinds. All of which will bring credibility to the industry in Seattle and increase employment and the local tax base.

As for my philanthropic goals, the most pressing of these is my desire to give back to my almamater. I have put it out there on many occasions that one goal is to be able to provide 250 full ride scholarships a year to the Albers School of Business and Economics at Seattle University. I owe so much to Seattle University for giving me the tools to apply my craft, teaching me to be a perpetual student and instilling in me a sense of civic responsibility beyond my military career. I see what's happening with my brothers-in-arms coming back from war zones and not re acclimating well and know that I am not doing enough currently to help them and want to rectify that.

I have long dreamed of setting up a mentorship program for veterans by veterans. We have a habit of not lending much credibility to someone that hasn't been there, done that. There are countless examples of veterans that have gone on to be highly successful in the civilian world after leaving the military. These young Marines, Sailors, Soldiers and Airmen need to know there is a whole life available for the taking after exiting the service. I never want to see another veteran on the side of the road pan handling again, they have given to much to all of us to suffer that fate. These men and women need the tools to retrain themselves and a supportive hand to help them through the transition which I still suffer with today.

These are just a few of the visions which drive me forward. They are my purpose for being here and I will not give up until they are obtained. No one can convince me otherwise. When I am struggling and things appear bleak I try to consciously refocus on them and regain my bearings. What drives you, what is your vision, do you know or are you still searching for it? Follow your passion, I dare you.